Missing- Update

In a town near where I live, there is a big story about a missing man. This man works in the same building as a friend of mine's mother. He is married to the niece of a good friend's boss. Yeah, I know that is all hard to follow but the point is, I know people who know him and who are connected to him.

The story is that he went into work yesterday morning at 5:20 am. He was there to study and the building's cameras have him entering. No one saw him at work yesterday. His desk has his stuff on it, his things are there, his car is in the lot. None of the exit cameras show him leaving.

The police, some employees and some family members have searched the entire building-more than once-and have found nothing. His credit cards have not been used and his cell phone shows a local signal. It's just so unsettling. My mind cannot imagine what has happened to him.

He has a young wife of only one year and my heart aches for her. I can't imagine the not knowing. I can't imagine going to bed having that sweet little conversation that we do before we go to sleep and waking up to this. Calling and calling his phone and him not answer. Having his co-workers call me looking for him or asking questions. (I have no idea if those things took place.) Realizing that something is really wrong.

My prayers are with her tonight. And with that man's mother and father, family and friends. I hope so much that he's ok and that they are all reunited again. I just cannot imagine going through this.

**Sadly, the body of the 28 year old man was found very early this morning. He was discovered in the bushes outside of the building. Spokeswoman for the Sheriff's office say that the cause of death appears to be traumatic injury either from falling or jumping from the top of a building.

I was haunted by this story all night long. I watched the local news at ten to see if there were any developments and saw his poor wife. She was crying and begging him to come home. Devastating. Tragic.

If you or someone you know is feeling overwhelmed and like you can't go on, please, please, let someone know your pain. The National Suicide Hotline is there for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for free. Call 1-800-Suicide. Tell a friend, tell me, call the number. Reach out.

Choices!

I've picked a bedding for both a boy and a girl. The place is Polka Tot Designs where I can customize bedding for a boy and for a girl. Someone from my doctor's office can call them and they will design the one that corresponds to Baby's gender.

If you want to get an idea of what I've chosen- these are the fabrics:

GIRL (It's easier if you go to this and put in the fabrics where I say)

Bart Spring dust ruffle and cording- where the other strip is and the plain pink cording
Just Us Kids- one side of bumper pad (where the dots are)
Dotz Watermelon - other side of bumper pad (where the stripes are on the bumper pad, next to the solid middle)
Minky Strawberry- sheet and where monogram will go (not 100% sure if this is the right minky color. I'll ask when I call.)
Curly Q Strawberry- maybe blanket, at foot and head of bumper pad (this is another one that I'll have to ask about when I call) (where the paisley is)

Ok, got all that?

BOY
It's almost the exact Christopher except instead of the green and white dots, I'll do minky dots lime. Unless she can't monogram that. Then it'll be just a solid fabric in that same color.

I know that you'll be asking what names we've chosen now that we are ordering bedding with monogramming. We HAVE chosen two names, one for each sex, but will not be sharing* that info until Baby is here. Everything will be a surprise, I guess. I'm so excited to see if Baby is a boy or a girl. Now, we can use one name one day and switch it up.

Names are hard! And so is bedding!
Hard........ but fun!!

*I wrote this for my pregnancy blog and wanted ya'll to see the bedding if you wanted. I still won't be announcing Baby's name here on this blog but, not because I don't want YOU to know, of course. When the time comes, you can send me an email and I'll let you know. Baby will go by a nickname here (Baby? Cookie?).

xo

Belly Pics

Welcome To the Journey

Today is better than yesterday. A lot. Well, it is now.

My hair guy called me this morning and told me heard that I was unhappy with my hair. I told him that was true and that I couldn't walk around like that. He was defensive of his own work but told me to come back in today for a toner. I was a nervous wreck because I knew that everyone had been discussing it and were all looking at me when I walked in- the BAD client. The pregnant bitch, you know?

He took his time and applied the toner evenly in my hair (that did NOT happen Wednesday- it was sloppily applied) and let it sit for 30 minutes. I read my book and drank my water while I waited anxiously. As soon as it was washed from my hair, I could tell it was 1,000 times better. I like it a lot now.

Last night was rough for me. I was in a mood (as you could tell from the previous post) and couldn't shake it. I was tired and hurting (Baby has moved it's dear sweet head from my pubic bone today) and ugly. When Blue came to get into bed with me at around 8, he wanted to try to feel Baby move. He'd never been able to before. After just a few minutes, he felt it! I was SO excited and he was so amazed- I cried. No, not my typical weepy self, but a big huge sobbing 20 minute ordeal.

Poor Blue told me, "Uh could you not do that because now I can't feel anything but you shaking." That made me laugh. But I was still crying. Now, I cry for everything. All the time. But this was different and I didn't know what was wrong. I told Blue, "I;m just so.... I don't know!" He thought that was hilarious. Picture- pregnant me- sobbing into my pillow and Blue laughing his head off.

I think that such is the journey to mommyhood, no? I think it's normal. I HOPE it is! Anyway, it's all better now. I feel like I look better and I'm not in pain. Check back soon to see what's up then.

Bad

This morning I went to see my OB for our monthly checkup. I was so super dizzy but she said that my blood pressure and everything was fine. She told me everything was fine- Baby's heartbeat, my weight, my belly measurements, all of that.

But that was the only good thing. And the Subway sandwich that I had at noon was good.

Otherwise, I was in so much pain in my lower back and pubic bone. I can hardly walk. I'm so tired and I have ugly hair. I went yesterday to get it done and I should've known better. I am so stupid for doing something different while pregnant. I got it hi lighted. It's awful.

I don't know what I was expecting. I wanted it to be blond/blond and he said we'd gradually do that. But, it's yellow/brassy, streaky, striped and looks cheap. It's very 1997. I didn't like it while I was there and I said that I was afraid but they were all- we love it. I'm stupid for leaving.

I'm afraid to call them and see what they'll do. The other stylist that works next to mine tells me all the time that he's never had a complaint except for from pregnant women. I don't know if it looks like this because of pregnancy hormones or because he did something wrong. He kept telling me that it's because of the color it was when I got there.

So, I don't know what to do. I CANNOT live with this hair. If I call and tell them that I hate it, what should I ask them to do? Should I just get some auburn color again over this? Or should I let them "tone" it down? I don't know.... I feel like they never should've let me leave like this. The back actually looks ok, the front- the stripey, cheap, blah, blah...

I'm feeling really gross and sad and depressed so, sorry that this post is all ramble-y and silly.

Christmas Doctor

Do ya'll watch Ruby? I DVR everything and stuff get's watched late but I still watch. This Sunday's episode had me crying from laughing. Her doctor told her she had to go and see the gyno. Apparently she'd never ever been and she was scared to death. She calls her vagina "Christmas" because it sounds better and it's like a present.

So, her BFF Georgia makes her an appointment with what Ruby calls, "The Christmas Doctor." First she talks about it with her support group. They all talk about being embarrassed and hating it. One woman cracks me up talking about how she has to take the day off so she can bathe and get all clean. And she has to spray herself with grapefruit scent. Everyone is all, "Huh? Grapefruit?" And she says, "The scent makes you seem thinner!"

Ruby and Georgia (and another friend- a female) are finally at the doc's office. Ruby is filling out the medical history paperwork and reading the questions out loud. She gets to something about having a smell from her vagina or an itch or something. Georgia says, "And you will answer NO and not embarrass us. Even if it's yes." Oh, the way she said it- so funny! THEN, the best part, the part I backed up and watched three times- the hiney hole!

There is some kind of model in the room, of the vagina. Ruby picks it up and is asking, "What is this?" Georgia is telling her what it all is and then she says, "What's this?" "It's the hiney hole!" Well, Ruby liked to die. They are all three laughing and she says, "Georgia, now you look at me. They aren't gonna check my hiney hole are they? If they do, I'm leaving." OMG!! I was laughing so hard Blue came to check on me. (But, I'm the same way about my own hiney hole. I've already been warned that the OB will be poking around there soon...)

If you have not seen it yet, you must! It's so funny. She still drives me crazy with her voice change and her pronunciation (essited for excited, hacky for happy) but it's a good show. And, in the greatest news of the summer (maybe not, but still) my love- JEFF LEWIS will be back on Bravo on August 17th. I'm so essited!!

1,000th Post!

This is my 1,000th post! I'm underwhelmed at myself at the moment though. I'm tired and achey, it's a rainy day and I'm trying to make it to the salon for a much needed color and cut.

I don't want the 1,000th post to pass by though so, leave me a comment on what you've loved about the blog, your favorite post, etc. Or tell me what you hate. I know I used to post so much more and I've been slacking in a major way. I'll try to do better.

What I have loved about this blog is "meeting" all of you! You have been so good to me. I've gotten great advice, feedback, love and support from you. I've also made some incredible friends. Starting this blog was a great move for me. It's not exactly what it was before but, it is what it is and I'm not gonna change that anytime soon.

Thank you for reading! And thanks for your comments.

Will I Be Saying "It's A Boy" and Not Mean To...

I've been in love with Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bags. One of the main reasons that I love this one over all the others is I can wear it two ways. It's a tote and can be worn as a backpack. I love that. I saw that Rue La La was going to have them on sale this Friday at 10 am and I knew that was my time to buy. (Rue La La is a website that hosts different sales for different brands everyday)

Mom and I (Blue had a mandatory meeting. The first appointment he missed) went to see the perinatologist at 8 am Friday morning and were back at around 9:45. She had a quick appointment so she dropped me at Blue's office to use the computer. I was explaining to his secretary what I needed to do and why and she was all "Umm, Whatever!" She's a little older, not married, no kids.

Anyway, I got on and there were a few of the kind that I wanted but not a lot of colors to choose from. There were two brown ones with pink. There was a brown one with light blue plaid and there was this one:
I like this one a lot. I've seen it before. So, I got this one. I'm just worried a little that because of the blue it says "This is a diaper bag for a BOY baby." Does it? I don't want it to say that, especially if Baby is a GIRL baby. What do you think, honestly? I couldn't NOT buy one because the savings were something like 47% (Blue figured it out).

In other news, we saw Baby! All the necessary parts seem to be there. The tech lady even said that she briefly saw the sex organs but then Baby closed her/his thighs up and sat on her/his feet. The baby's head was down low again but we got some profile shots. We also got a weight- 1 lb 5 oz.

When the doctor came in and took a look, s/he picked up her face for him. We saw a few 3D shots of the face right on and I think s/he looks like Little Brother!! Of course, there is no fat on Baby so those pictures don't translate well. Baby just looks like an alien skeleton- but a gorgeous one!!

Whole Lot Goin On

There are lots of things going on for us right now. We are in a new season of our life and we are excited and scared all at the same time. I know that our whole lives are about to change drastically. My life already has, of course. I feel like this is a great time for us to better ourselves, do things we've wanted to before, make positive changes.

I've finally found a church home, which has been a goal of mine. A few people in my family are already members and because the church is so close to our houses, we decided to check it out. My mom went first and really liked it a lot. She invited us to join her and I did a few times. I also joined her at her ladies bible group and loved it too. This past Sunday, we stayed for the newcomers lunch and the presentation really impressed me and pushed me as far as I needed.

I was a little put off at first because it's technically a "Baptist" church. I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school from K-8th grade. I went to a Baptist affiliated high school that taught us just straight from the Bible. At Catholic school, we learned about the Catholic religion. I always really enjoyed non denominational churches and was more drawn to them. But, I love FC and hope it works for our families.

On the bambino front- all is well! We have another ultrasound on Friday morning and we are super excited. And nervous, of course. Last time we saw the perinatologist (maternal fetal specialist), Baby looked great- the spine, the stomach, the brain... everything that the doctor could see. But, baby was on her/his stomach with her/his face down so, we couldn't see the face. Also, they wanted to see the heart right side up to be sure of it's health. We are hoping and praying that s/he will move and cooperate.

I had a bladder infection as of last Saturday (the 4th). I am still having some issues so the doctor is calling in more antibiotics. The medicine makes me nauseous though, so I'm not thrilled. I have to take it with food and I eat yogurt to try and help. It doesn't. Also, my belly is getting bigger and bigger all the time. And sweet Baby moves more and more all the time. No one else besides me has felt her/him move but it shouldn't be too long now.

We have a wedding Friday night, so maybe I'll post some pictures of us all dressed up for that. I feel like a big blob of bad hair and acne so, I don't take lots of pictures. I'm sure I'll have the camera out Friday night though. And! I'm getting a massage on Thursday. I'm so excited about that. I need it.

Finally, I got four new pairs of shoes. I'll be back later to talk about them.

I Promise, Promise, Promise

• I promise to come back really soon with a non-bullet point post.
• All is (fairly) well in shoe land. Baby? Good! Movin and groovin! Mama? UTI but almost finished the meds. Blue/Daddy? Good. Got a raise at work! He has something funky going on with his neck but other than that...
• I'm going to register for baby items on Saturday! YAY!! I'm excited. I've been doing research for some items (stroller, car seats, diaper bags, bouncy) and I know what I'm looking for. Kinda. I think we are doing the Chicco Travel System. The car seat was voted the safest by consumer reports. I don't know which convertible car seat I'll do though. I love Britax.
• Anything (big or small) that you love for your baby, let me know.
• I'm reading two books- Posh by Lucy Jackson and American Wife by Curtis Sittenfield. I like them both. I just got started on the second one. I like this author.
• I miss Fall tv so much! I'm so glad that Big Brother is coming soon and that Ruby is back on Style.