Resolutions

In no particular order, this is a list of some of my goals for 2010:

• start exercising again regularly (um, or at all)
• eat better- more fruits and veggies, less cake and white bread (oh how I love the bread, biscuits, cake)
• have more sex (difficult with a new baby)
• have non electronic (no tv, cell phones, computer) quality time with Blue and Bunny
• keep Bunny's clothes organized- put away things that don't fit or she won't wear again (I'm doing a good job of this SO FAR-with help-but she's only grown out of one size. And those clothes are culled out of her wardrobe but not put away)
• read AT LEAST 12 (I'm saying one a month) books that have nothing to do with breastfeeding, parenting, babies.
• journal more- hand written or computer
• make some mommy friends
• save money
• go to church with Bunny
• breastfeed for the whole year
• learn more about baby led weaning, no cry sleep solutions and other gentle parenting practices

What are yours?

Merry Christmas From the Family

A Christmas MeMe (To Try & Cheer Me)

I'm in a little bit of a funk. I'm tired. I'm hot (post partum hormones??). My house is messy. I WANT cheese (I'm non-dairy, more on that later). I found this at Swistle's blog so, I thought I'd do it. I like Christmas a lot and am wondering about everyone else's traditions.


Eggnog or hot chocolate? I know that I do not like eggnog but I have not tried it in a long time. I really love hot chocolate.

Does Santa wrap the presents or leave them open under the tree? This is my first year as Santa and those presents will be wrapped. But not by me. M1 is coming tomorrow to help do that for me. I understand that she's only 2 months old and won't know the difference. I WILL though. (From Santa, Bunny is getting this and some outfits, a Christmas ornament with her initial (it's already on her stocking), a stuffed reindeer and that's all. I think) When I was little, sometimes Santa wrapped, sometimes he didn't.

Colored lights on a tree or white? I like both. Our tree is an artificial one that came with white lights. I'm allergic to real ones.

Do you hang mistletoe? No. But if I found some, I'd buy it and hang it. I do enjoy kisses.

When do you put your decorations up? Next year, I will try VERY hard to do it Thanksgiving weekend or that week after. This was the first year we have really decorated and I did it in stages.

What is your favorite holiday dish? My mom's broccoli casserole and sweet potato crunch.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes. Our tradition is to go to my MaMa and PaPa's house (my mom's parents) for Christmas Eve. We have dinner and fellowship (hang out!) and then we open the gifts. There are 15 of us this year- (Blue, me, my parents, bro and sis-in-law, grands, uncle & aunt and Ms 1-3, D and BUNNY!) Then, bro and sis-in-law, Blue, Bunny and I will go to mom and dad's house to open our gifts from them.

We spend Christmas Day with my dad's side of the family. I (sadly) don't have grandparents on that side but my dad has one sister who has three grown kids. We are going to my cousin, Jen's, house this year. Usually it's either at my mom's or my aunt's (who is my godmother, AKA Nanny) house but Jen moved into a new house recently and wanted to host it. I MIGHT host it next year.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Like I said, this year is the first year we've had our own. Yes, I know, it's about time. I decorated it with the ornaments that I've gotten throughout the year, all of the many ones that Bunny has received, and the ones I used as a child. My mom let me borrow those because she's not putting a tree up this year. I am a traditional kind of gal and I like the "homey" trees with the mismatched ornaments. In a few years, I'll put a mini tree in Bunny's room. I saw a pink one at Kohl's that I LOVED.

Snow: love it or hate it? Well, I live in the deep south so, my interaction with it has been limited. I've loved it every time but, I wouldn't like it if I had to deal with it all the time.

Can you ice skate? Ummm, if you knew me, you'd laugh at this. So, no. I cannot.

What is your favorite holiday dessert? peanut butter blossoms, pecan pie, chocolate... I don't meet many desserts that I don't like.

What is your favorite holiday tradition? It's cheesy but truthfully, I just really love to be with my family- extended and close. And I really love the food. L-O-V-E.

Candy canes: yum or yuck? I don't hate them. I like to eat the multi-colored one more than the peppermint ones. I think the peppermint ones are pretty.

Favorite Christmas show? Christmas Vacation (even though I'm DONE with it this year because Blue has watched it ONE MILLION times already) and Elf. I'm also partial to Charlie Brown's Christmas too. I HATE the Grinch.

Well, I don't feel all that better, to tell you the truth. Now, I'm hungry and it's time to wake Bunny from her nap. She's prone to having her days and nights all mixed up (we're talking deep, hard sleep all day and nary a closed eye or little cap naps at night) so, I'm trying to prevent that if at all possible.

I hope your Sunday is going better than mine.

Bunny is 2 Months Old

Stuff I'm Loving

I don't know why but I love doing these posts.

V8 Fusion Light in Strawberry Banana- My mom bought this for me and I love it. With the new baby, I don't always get to eat when I need to and this is easy and quick and good.

Luna Lullaby Soothing Swaddle Blanket- I got this as a shower gift and after Bunny was born we got another one. Bunny loves to be swaddled tight and this blanket is big and soft and wonderful.

Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage Concealer- This stuff is magic. I don't get a whole lot of sleep so this is necessary. I love it so much under my eyes and to cover up blemishes.

Tarte- I recently got some minis from this cosmetic company and I was really impressed. The makeup is free of parabens, petro-chemicals, etc... My very favs are the Lock & Roll creaseless cream & powder shadow duo (it's quick and easy which is necessary with the baby and the colors I've used-rose gold and gunmetal-are beautiful) and the double-ended lip gloss. This is the best feeling gloss I've ever used and the one I tried was an awesome color (Fred & Ginger). Bonus- they are all named for famous couples (Rhett & Scarlett, Luke & Laura, Johnny & Baby).

HGTV- Ya'll know I'm a tv freak, right? Well, I've discovered this gem of a channel and am obsessed now. My favorite show is House Hunters and I love Dear Genevieve, too.

Kellymom.com- This site has been a life (sanity) saver for me in the past few weeks. The forums and articles offer info and advice that feel right for me and Bunny (and Blue). It's breastfeeding and gentle parenting advice and support. And I need all of that I can get. I feel like knowledge is power.

*This post is about things that I just happen to love and use. I'm not being paid to say any of this. Unfortunately*

The Greatest Gift

I love gifts. I love getting them and giving them and hearing about what everyone else gets and gives. And I've been meaning to do a post on just that. Well, today, I got a gift to end all gifts- a Bunny smile.

I've been obsessing casually thinking of "Hey, when will Bunny smile a "social smile" for a few weeks (2) now. She's going to be two months old in one week on the 17th and the doctor said to be looking for it about now. Also, she smiles during her sleep a lot and has been smiling at nothing so, I knew it was coming. Today, my mom (Grammy) and dad (PawPaw) came to visit after being out-of-town for ten days. Mom was kissing Bunny on her belly and thighs AND SHE SMILED!

Granted, it wasn't a big huge gummy smile. She makes you work for it. That is so her father- he's not easily excitable. Anyway, I quickly pushed Grammy to the side and tried it out for myself. And she smiled for me, too! It's actually more of a smirk, a happy one, a small little grin. So, I tried it out again by kissing her neck and doing other silly make-the-baby-smile stuff. And I got it again. Who knew that this would be so incredible? Well, it is.

Now it's time for her to eat so, I don't have time for the post on gifts so, maybe later.

Growing Pains

Bunny just went through a growth spurt. Tuesday and Wednesday night she ate every hour between 9pm-3am with no real rest in between. I was tired, she was tired- it was rough. I don't remember her going through any type of spurt like this before (at 3 weeks or whatever). Last night she did much better. In the evening, she ate every hour (6:30, 7:30 and then 9) but then went to sleep and woke about every three hours like normal.

She sleeps in a co sleeper next to my bed. I just reach over and pick her up to feed her. Sometimes I turn on the tv, sometimes I don't. Sometimes she goes right back to sleep, sometimes she doesn't. I try not to worry too much about a schedule right now because she is still just so young. She frequently has her days and nights mixed up but, I'm not too worried.

Breastfeeding makes me so hungry. And thirsty. And it is certainly burning the calories because I've lost almost all the baby weight. I was overweight to start with so, it's not like I'm "skinny" or anything but, I feel like some of my goals are do-able now. I definitely want to weigh less for the next pregnancy. I think that will make things a lot easier.

Speaking of "next pregnancy", I miss being pregnant. Not as much as I did at first but, I do still miss it. I know that it's weird for some people to think of, but it's true. Still, I don't want to have another baby until Bunny is a little older. I'm still leaning towards 3 (maybe 4) kids total. But, who knows, right? Parenting is so much more wonderful and hard and awesome and scary than I could have ever known before she was born.

Things aren't all smiles and peaceful mother-feeding-baby though. My house is a mess. I'm usually not bathed or teeth brushed until very late in the day, if at all. I don't usually wear a top around my house. It's just easier to wear a nursing bra and bottoms when it's just us. Bunny has spit up on her clothes and has a sour milk smell around her neck a lot of times. And crusty face! I clean it and she gets it again when she eats. I don't bathe her every day because her skin is sensitive like mine. It does better every other day.

I'm constantly worrying that I'm creating bad habits or doing something that will negatively effect her for life. Or at least through childhood. I know that it's normal to worry but it's not fun. I'm worried that I'm not cut out for this and that I shouldn't be doing this. I'm so afraid that I won't be the mother that I want so badly to be. I could stare at her and hold her and love on her all day long but, I gotta cook and clean and do laundry and go shopping and take a bath. And sometimes- none of that happens.

I really don't know how teenagers do it. I don't know how I could have handled the emotions and the stress at any other time in my life. I wouldn't have been able to, I know that. Being a mother is what I've always wanted and hoped for and I'm so glad that I waited until I was prepared. It's inevitable that you'll worry and struggle no matter how old or prepared you are but I think I gave myself a much better chance by waiting. She was so worth it, too. No matter how I smell- she is so worth it.