Messin Up The Bed
*As per the new rule, "All My Friends Say" (my SIL Haley's song) was on when I started writing.
I am reading a book about a fashion stylist for a London magazine (fiction). Her name is Emily and she has a great job. She gets to (among other things) go to all the major fashion shows in Milan and Paris and New York. While on one of those trips, she meets Miles, a sexy Australian photographer. She and Miles began having a sexy "fashion-show-fling"but, our dear Emily is married.
When she leaves the hectic hustle and bustle glam of the fashion world, she goes back to London to her husband, Oliver. Emily says she feels no remorse because her sex with Miles has nothing to do with her life with Ollie. When she's at home in London, she's with Ollie and they have a great relationship and the book goes through all of that.
Here is why I just had to write. Not because all of that is crap, morally, it is, of course. It's because I also watch Dancing with the Stars. Do you watch? Ever watched? Know what I'm talking about? These people are on the semi-finals this week and I think Samantha Harris said they'd been practicing and dancing together for 3 months. That is a lot of time learning all these moves and dedicating time and energy to each other. All of the "stars" left are married.
Point, I'm coming to find you. I began thinking of this while watching DWTS tonight. Well, I think about it every single season. The girls dress very provocatively. The dancing itself is very sexy and close and often suggestive. I would NOT want my husband to dance the way they dance, with anyone but ME. Period, end of story. I guess this is another matter though because some of them are actors and actors do that. This is a job.
Ok, here is the thing: the point (YAY! Finally, right?). My Blue and I have been together for over 8 and a half years, 9 at the end of July. Our 5th wedding anniversary is the 24th of this month. We were both only 18 when we got together.
Now, huh, it was with fingers crossed that I wore that big white dress on my wedding day. (SHOCKED- I know) Before we were married, before we were 100% serious, there were some unfinished business for both of us. I still lived in LA, he lived in GA. We met at the beach in FLA (just to catch you up and to reinforce)... We had to be sure. Plus, it was hard to have the long distance thing going.
I was just out of a horrible relationship with satan, but he still managed to be where I was on occasion or try to at least. He needed to go away. There was a guy that I liked BEFORE Blue that was complicated. Paths needed to be smoothed and during that time of smoothing, kisses may have happened or whatEVER, but then by the next May we were together. I was 19. I was married at 22.
I AM NOT going to act like I don't have crazy crushes on tons of guys. Hell, I've mentioned a few of them here (Matthew Mc, Josh Holloway, Chris Long, Chef Tom, LUKE PERRY) and Blue knows of them too. Plus, Blue and I were 18 when we met. EIGHTEEN. We were wild for awhile. We did some wild stuff in our drinking days. NO, we were not swingers, we've never had a third party in our bed, nothing like that. We have grown up together in a way and I've told him all of his friends that I thought were so cute and vise versa. Now we've moved away from his childhood home so it's different.
The thing is while I am just like every other person with sexual desires, maybe I'm behind, maybe I'm not. Maybe I "missed out" like so many people say I did by getting together with him so young. Maybe not. I think about it. I cannot say that during low times in my marriage I never thought, "I'm never gonna kiss anyone else?" What sobered me always always always is the thought of his pain. I could never, would never willingly hurt him like that.
I just don't think I'm in the minority. The statistics say I am though. If divorce is so prevalent than people can't be thinking they don't want to hurt their spouse. But, that's not the only reason I don't cheat. No, of course not. Even after 8 and a half years, when I think of who I really, really want to run to, who I want to see smile, who I want to hold me, who I want to mess up the bed with.... it's Luke.
*Alone by Heart
**Picture from the Chronic Fatigue website
Labels: books, DWTS, life, Luke, marriage