Thursday, October 4, 2007

Peace and Strength

It's tomorrow at 8am. I don't even know what I want to come out of this. God's will. Peace and strength- which are my prayers for all on my list. I pray that God gives peace and strength. For me, I want to be better. I want to LIVE and be WELL. My mother thinks I'm dramatic and that nothing is wrong and maybe she's right. The thing is- she does not live with me.

Yes, I'm a dramatic person. This is my life and my health, though. I know that my memory and my, my MIND is just not the same as it was before. Maybe that is medication but, I have to know and it has to be corrected. I know that my balance is off- not all the time, of course, but it is more often than not and the neurologist AND the endocrinologist thought enough of it to send me for this test.

I DO NOT think I have cancer or any type of life-threatening disease. I do think there is SOMETHING. I don't want something but, I want answers. I do not want to be dismissed and I feel like I have been, by many. It's so important for things to change DRASTICALLY- for the sake of my well being, my marriage, my sanity.

I want to feel like a real person who matters. I want to be able to go to school, have a baby, hell- I want to be able to clean my house!! I want to be able to bathe regularly, go to the grocery store, exercise... I know that SO many people have it SO much worse than me. I'm sorry. You all can just turn around and leave because I know you don't want to come to my pity party!! It's OK!

I'm fine. Thanks for everything. I need you to list your prayer requests. XOXO

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