Tuesday, July 29, 2008
i'm not myself and i'm sorry. i'm having mood swings and lots of emotions- i'm sad. i'm really, really sad. i feel enormous pressure to "buck up" and "move on" and maybe that pressure is all from me. but still. i do feel that some people expect me to be the same old me right away and are shocked that i'm not. i don't know how i'm supposed to feel or act or be and that is hard. what am i supposed to do? i guess there are no real guidelines. it is what it is. i feel what i feel and that is that. i don't want to wallow or sulk or be overboard. i don't want to fall into a depression. I've been assured by trusted peeps that i'm fine and normal and having a-ok reactions. i am very hard on myself. i can be my own worse enemy.