I've Gone Off My Diet Too
So, I have MAV for a few more days. This "parenting" a nine year old girl is pretty new to me. I am so not used to the behaviors of some children today. I'm also not as familiar with this age as I am with a bit younger ages. Plus, she is being raised a lot different than I was raised or would raise her. Here are some of the issues we're (I'm?) having:
- blatant defiance- I am just not used to this and I do not put up with it. I don't let it go either. I'm strict, not mean, strict. No matter what my mom says about me being a talker and hyper and attention-hungry (I was all three), I listened to my parents and my elders and didn't blatantly disobey.
- What?- We were raised to say "Ma'am" and "Sir" to our parents and elders. I understand that not everyone does this, but to me, it sounds terribly disrespectful when a child answers, "What" when you call his/her name. This is not her fault, of course. I ask her to say, "Yes" when I call to her from a distance. If she hasn't heard me, "excuse me?" is more appropriate.
- I'm a carnival director- She's bored! She's complaining before we finish this activity about being bored later.
- The REPEATS- This may be the top thing along with the disobeying. I know that kids ask for toys, candy, food, to go play outside, to watch a movie, to go to the mall, la la la and so on and so forth. I know that. Again, I'm basically basing things on how I was and how my parents were when I was growing up. She asks for or about the SAME. FREAKING. THING. over and over and over and over again. I'm not exaggerating at all. We go to the store and get a buggy (cart, we say buggy here), I've told her at home 10 minutes ago that I'll buy her a ball. She asks me NO LESS than 4 times before we get out of produce about the damn ball. Once she gets said ball (TWO!), it's on to something else. What do I say about this? Is this normal? Are you laughing at me?
I know that it's mostly me and my problem. I don't yell. I speak sternly and directly and if something continues, we have a discussion. She is very, very mature for her age and is adorable when talking about things. I know that lots of things that she does that irritate me are not her fault and so I try to be patient. I don't know how much this has to do with her parentage (or who she is with and around) or personality. I also don't know if some of this would be easier for me to deal with if she were my child. I feel like a bitch when I get stern and correct her too much. I want to be fun Nanny, but not be walked all over and have her misbehave. If she were our child I could correct her as I see fit.
And Luke. Luke is infinatly more patient with her than I am or than he is with me. He is really fantastic with kids and that is the 100% truth. He's like a Pied Piper with them, they all love him so much. MAV and Luke have always been like this, since she was born. She has a nickname for him, they hold hands, play with the ball, watch movies. She helped in the yard yesterday while I cooked in the kitchen. I looked out my window at the two of them together and it was adorable. It was a little glimpse at my future.
my dreams all come true standing side by side in the yard
Labels: advice, childhood, family, feedback, Luke, MAV